|A graphic argument for the probable existence of god|
And Trump isn't. Nor is the narcissistic human being currently squatting in our UK house.
I'm writing this column for me, really, but if it helps anyone else, I'll be happy about that.
I'm weathering another of the storms of human life, particularly a human life in which, apparently, the one living it has a need to experience as much good and as much bad as can be crammed into each twelve months. Me, in short.
That having been said, every bit of bad I've experienced had my hand in it; I have made some really stupid choices. However, every bit of good has had the hand of God in it. (Yes, I know. Most of you think of me as an atheist. But read on; it will become clear.)
I'm capitalizing God in order not to put some people off. Me, I don't really call the entity God; indeed, I call the entity Mind. For it is an intelligence, not a big daddy in the sky helping out good kiddies and tossing lumps of coal at bad ones. It is no less and no more than universal law, the natural laws that keep the universe going, keep it from descending into chaos. If this were not true, you would not be reading this, because chaos would, in fact, have prevented the universe from existing in the first place.
|For some, including me, god is natural law, mathematics, the quantum field which cannot support chaos but MUST seek equilibrium|
Case in point: I stupidly allowed an unreliable graphic artist to remain in my employ when I got an ad agency in a very leveraged buyout 30 years ago. He lied. He manipulated. He cheated. Finally, he stole. He had told me what he intended: "I want to have ten grand to sit on the beach for six months." I mistook it for office banter; who doesn't want to sit on the beach for a while? But with him, it was a plan. Later, a former JAG attorney I hired told me criminals ALWAYS tell you their plans if you have the wits to listen.
Within two months of that casual conversation on a drive back from a client presentation, the little creep had forged a company check and stolen exactly ten grand. He spent part of it trying to prevent my getting it back. But I won't bother with that part. Suffice it to say that the whole thing, including his holding my assistant hostage while he tried to extort from me ALL the money in my personal bank account (a total of 3 grand that day, as I had just that week paid myself for the first time in months as I had paid everyone else first, which is what small business owners often have to do.) By then, I was going with god, a little. So, at the bank, I tore up the check in front of the teller and asked her to please remember the face of the man standing at my elbow. Then I threw him and his gang of thieves out of the office. Then I called the cops.
|I was, and probably still am, one of the worst for saying, Right, sure, but knowing it is--must be--true. For all of us.|
And then the real fun began.
Do you know how vicious and creative crooks can be when trying to protect their ill-gotten gains? It was nightmarish for three months, during which I bought and got incredibly good at shooting a Beretta 38.
The Beretta solved nothing; I never used it but on targets. My intense worry and fear (I did say he was vicious, right? But I didn't mention he paid people off to hunt me) put my entire life on hold, and all I did--besides worry--was attempt, however miserably, to keep my mind on God/Mind, and affirm that if I got out of the way, God/Mind would put it all to rights. Oh, sure, part of it is that one must "ask believing." For a lifelong doubter like me, a person who had found Science of Mind less than a year earlier, that was not easy. Still, when I could crawl out of the depths of despair at the hurricane of horrors (I really won't go into them) for a minute, I was like Natalie Wood in Miracle on 34th Street, saying, "I believe, I believe. It's stupid, but I believe." Over and over and over.
|A chant that calls on the jewel of creation, the lotus, in Buddhist belief|
Had I done it better, perhaps it would have taken less than three months to resolve. And I would not have sacrificed that length of my life to the deepest misery and despair I have ever had or ever expected to have.
But now I'm in the same sort of soup again. Why? Because I failed to learn the first lesson; never, ever, ever, ever give a psycho an inch, and never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ignore your gut feelings. Those gut feelings are messages, messages that you are bumping into the negative force field of a being--usually human--you want nothing whatever to do with. Hence, the explanation of the tenant we are now trying to remove from our house. She TOLD me she was a narcissist; she tried to buy the house when we had it for sale and couldn't complete, but she blamed it on everyone but herself. Then she wanted to rent it when we decided to do that rather than sell as it suddenly seemed prudent to keep the asset during these turbulent times. I didn't trust her. But she had two cats.......Just as I protected the poor, young, graphic artist, I protected her cats. My gut told me not to trust either the artist nor the tenant, but I didn't listen.
My gut was right. Both times.
It is a little better this time, even though the law firm I have hired to assist is dragging its heels (same as the one last time did, until I pushed them, hard), and the appearance is that we--my husband and I--are screwed.
But I continue: I believe, I believe. I really do believe. No, really. OK. So I'll always be a sort of sceptic no matter how perfectly Mind works in getting all the ducks, finally, in a row without my help.
|My favorite prophet, Buddha. Science of Mind borrows much of his teaching.|
I decided this morning I had to go with a "God damn it" prayer. At least two Science of Mind ministers have told me that if all you can do is just say, "Damn it, God, I can't stand much more of this. Get it done," it's OK You've got to be serious about tossing your thoughts into the Universal Mind, or it might think you are not quite ready for the tempest to quell and for you to get your life back. And the "God damn it" prayer is proof positive that you're serious; you want Universal Mind to operate for everyone's greatest good and you believe it can and will.
I'm ready. Do you hear that, Mind? Those ripples of thought? Mine are totally on living in our house with my husband and dog and having friends visit, and happily forgetting this monstrous creature I fully admit I allowed into our lives. Mea culpa, a thousand times. And with it, a hundred thousand iterations of "I believe; it is done. We are restored. She has departed in ways of peace if possible, or however she chooses for herself if not. With thanks."
And so it is.
|Namaste! The divine in me honors the divine in you, a Buddhist greeting.|