Wednesday, December 4, 2019

To Tories, you are a bait dog

A bait dog

For the Tories, you are a bait dog.

The disturbing photo above appeared on my Facebook feed a couple of days ago, labeled Bait Dog, and imploring us to ban dog-fighting.

The photo has been in my head ever since. BUT...

It is also emblematic of the way the Tories have treated the entire UK population since that  overgrown juvenile, David Cameron, first set foot in No. 10, Downing Street.

For the Tories, we are bait dogs. 

For ten years, a great part of the UK population has been kept barely alive through cuts to social services at the very moment the Putin-led Brexiteers* are causing corporations to flee across the Channel, taking our jobs with them.

Finally, when we are no longer useful--no longer able to even crawl into the dog-training pen to be bitten by bigger, stronger dogs yet again--we are tossed onto the trash heap of a diminished National Health Service (NHS). There, we may be saved, or we may die. It is almost certain, after the loss of thousands of nurses fleeing the hostility in the UK, we will lie in pain on a gurney in the hallway for hours. Hours that might kill us for want of a timely injection or emergency procedure.

Like a bait dog on a trash heap.

What doesn't kill us will see us pleading with landlords to let us remain until Universal (no) Credit sees fit to issue the funds we qualified for after losing our job to Brexit corporate flight. 

Failing that, we will have to join the army of homeless, a population that has increased a whopping 165% since the Tories came to power.

To the Tory horde, you are but a bait dog, a piece of meat with which they can make more money. 

They don't have to feed you much; that's why Universal (no) Credit was created. So their taxes, even before investing in overseas companies without paying any UK taxes, are low. (The Tories want Brexit because otherwise, under new EU rules, they won't be able to offshore their loot; they will have to pay taxes, that is, contribute to the nation that gave them their wealth. They do not recognize your right to even a reasonable amount of wealth; they do not recognize your right to live if it interferes IN ANY WAY with their getting what they want...more money.

The Tories have fixed it, by diminishing the NHS, so that they don't have to care for you when you are hurt or ill; if they did, they would have to pay taxes to cover the cost, since you are now unable to help yourself. And they won't do that; it would bite into their profit from offshoring their money. Easier to put you out on a trash heat with the rest of the used-up 'bait dogs.'

If this begins to sound as if the Tories will do ANYTHING to you to get rich and richer, you are right. ANYTHING. Including selling your health service to US Big Pharma and your lovely, decent food--when you can afford it--to the slavering maws of US Big Agriculture.

They certainly don't have to educate your children. Why? For one thing, many children won't make it to their first birthday. “Infants are more than twice as likely to die in England and Wales if they are born into a poor family rather than a wealthy one, and the gap is widening,” according to an expert quoted here

Your children are bait puppies.

Aside from that, if those children manage to grow up, there won't be many jobs in the suddenly third-world backwater formerly known as the UK and once the fifth-largest economy worldwide, stunning for such a small nation...destroyed by Tory greed, not for all of us, but for themselves. 

The UK, destroyed, for the small cadre of Eton educated men (and a few women who masquerade as such like May and Patel) who are willing to destroy anything to increase their wealth and power with no regard for their nation or anyone in it. Except themselves.

To Tories, you are expendable. A bait dog. A substandard being useful only for what you can do for them. And then, you can disappear. They don't want to feed you, house you, or educate you beyond what is needed for you to live a short miserable life costing them almost nothing. If you fail to clean their house, pick their crops, or make their cars, you are of no use to them, none at all. And you will find yourself, very shortly, at the side of the proverbial road, your many cuts bleeding, your limbs and spirit broken.

That, friends, is what the Tories want for you. If they tell you anything else, it is advertising, meant to trick you into buying their vision of a perfect future--for THEM.
You are a bait dog for the Tories, nothing more. NOTHING more.

* Farage? Just a shill, a creepy one, but still a shill.

Copyright 2019, Laura Harrison McBride


Thursday, November 21, 2019

Suffer the children: A poem for these times

A stormy evening in Plymouth, Devon, UK

Suffer the children

by Laura Harrison McBride

I'm hearing the screaming this morning. The
screams of Jamal Kashoggi as he was
hacked apart for telling the truth, and
wanting to marry his beloved lady.

I'm hearing the silent screams of the children
in the “showers” of Auschwitz as the
Third Reich ended innocent lives of Jews,
gypsies, Catholics, the disabled.

I'm hearing the impassioned wails of mothers
separated from their children, sent back to
South America without the young they bore
and nurtured and tried to bring to a promised land....

The land has lost its promise.
It survived its massacre of the Algonquin,
the Sioux, and all the other unique people
and cultures of North America.

It survived its enslavement of bewildered
souls transported forcibly from Africa, where
they had ruled the hostile jungles, but could not
overcome the more hostile—and well-armed--
Confederate slavers.

It struggles, now, to survive a platoon of
cockamamie self-styled pastors whose
similarity to their own saviour is as close as
is mine and yours to a rabid dog.

It struggles to survive an educational system
rendered impotent so George Bush's wastrel
brother could sell computers and standardized

It struggles to survive a health-care system in which
only the wealthy survive, thus ensuring that the next
generation will be saddled with too many useless, lazy
supernumerary trust-fund people for even the brawniest
economy to support. Unless, of course, the brawny workers
die out, leaving the helpless wealthy to carry on, which
equals the end of America.

It struggles with memory loss. Some don't even know
what the Holocaust was. Some forget that Russia has never
been anyone's friend, never. Not in all of recorded history.
And not now.

The population struggles to remember that they, too, can die
hungry and alone, unwanted and terrified. Indeed,
they don't understand that that end is more likely than
dying a self-made millionaire, a celebrity, or even
a Kardashian. Which is their dream, supported by
a culture that knows it is not possible, not for 99.999999%
of them, but profits on promoting the falsehood.

They don't struggle with uncertainty. Having to weigh
the relative merits of various courses of action is beyond
their pay grade. They lack the education to do it. Their
spiritual leaders are the cockamamie clergy, insisting
that Jesus would consign black or brown or yellow
people to earthly perdition despite abundant evidence
to the contrary in their own holy books. They do not
struggle with uncertainty; they are sure that black is white
and good is bad and they will arm themselves to the
teeth to make the rest of us believe it. They bear the
mark of Satan, all right, but also the vacant face of
the moron.

“Suffer the little children to come unto me”
does not mean, as one of the hollow clergy said recently,
excusing the Border Patrol, to make children suffer.
Suffer, Biblically and for eons more, means to allow. 
But...they are uneducated,
the clergy and their followers. And so, the words
of a man of peace are used as an excuse for acts so vile
that I cannot even list them without first taking strong drink.

I would scream. I do scream. My body, racked with pain
these two years since the UK referendum and Trump,
vibrates to the discordant notes—although discordant sounds
not strong enough—of the misery of two peoples, the British
and the American. There is no consensus on what is causing
my pain, but I know. It is the spectre of evil, settling on us
like a poison-laden mist. When it lifts, the physical pain will, too.

I wish I could pray.

Maybe they—we—deserve this misery, the misery that
has tripled homelessness, made prescriptions for anti-depressants
skyrocket in the US, disappear entirely from the Tory-gutted
NHS, leaving good people in pain and dying, slowly or fast.

We spent our attention elsewhere
when the robbers were filling their satchels with our culture,
and enticing our politicians to join in the robbery. We spent our
attention elsewhere when the disaffected claimed all
politicians are the same, all clergy fools. There are some of
each, but we consigned all of them to the trash heap, bidden by
people too lazy to think, to discern, to decide, to act when
action was demanded.

It is our own fault, the vile situation in two nations. We
failed to notice the Russian Runt as he weaved in and
out among honest, decent leaders. (Don't go there. Clinton
was a man, not a demon. Blair was a middle ground between
cockamamie socialism and the Tories, and not faultless.
In short, a man.) We must learn to accept partially flawed
leaders lest we get totally flawed ones, evil ones like Trump
and May, Putin and Johnson.

Are you perfect? But are you good? Do you try? Are you kind?
There, then. How can we expect more in our leaders. Goodness,
energy, humanity. I'd settle for that.

I will settle for that and celebrate it if the US and the UK survive.

I give it no more than 50/50 odds. And I'm still hearing the screaming.

C. 2018, Laura Harrison McBride

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Letter to Despicable Tory MP about the Russian interference report, now held hostage by #LiarJohnson

Sheryll Murray, MP, saying how pleased she is that we have food banks; as a member of government, shouldn't she want to see food banks replaced by food security for all? Despicable woman. (Mirror photo)
I am unfortunate enough to have as my MP Sheryll Murray, she who has numerous fishing industry constituents, and yet votes against their interests, not least by being a Brexiteer. I write to her often, not because it will change her mind, if any, but because getting the thoughts out into the etheric might, in some magical way, build up a head of steam against the fascist coup happening now in the UK.

In any case, here is my letter to Mrs. Murray about #LiarJohnson's unconscionable, self-serving withholding of the ISC findings about Russian interference in the referendum and elections. 

Please feel free to copy or borrow if you like.

Dear Mrs. Murray,

There can be only ONE reason Boris Johnson wants this report on Russian interference quashed: it is damaging to him. While he is a well-known liar and bounder, he is also the Prime Minister, unfortunately; the power has gone to his head, which lacks compassion, discernment and any sense of fair play whatsoever. Indeed, the traditional British values are lacking almost totally in Boris Johnson; however, he displays many of the attributes admired by Russian oligarchs, which include keeping essential information away from the electorate and stonewalling in general. Perhaps we should just be happy that he has not yet caught up to the Russian Runt and begun throwing journalists who disagree with him into jails.

Again, I write knowing that you will not, in fact, pressure Mr. Johnson to do the right thing.  Is this a waste of effort, then? No. Every time a person raises the issue of fascism in UK politics, wherever that issue is raised, cannot be anything except good. Anytime a UK voter raises the spectre of fascism in the current UK government, it cannot be anything except good, especially as I will share this letter with others so that they can understand the enormity of the cover-up being perpetrated against the interests of UK citizens. 

Thank you for your attention.

Laura Harrison McBride

Monday, October 7, 2019

Yes, the problem IS Putin

I have one thing and one thing only to say. Indeed, it might be the only thing worth saying, regarding both the UK and the US: Putin. 

He has lusted for the disintegration of the EU and the US since he came to illicit power in 2000. He wants it now more than ever. 

You might think I am Bill Browder's publicist, but I am not. I'm not even good at being my own publicist for books or artworks. But reading his book Red Notice has convinced me that not only is Russia now no better than when it was communist; it is worse. As Browder says, Russia is not a nation of laws but a nation of men. 

And those men are evil. When Russia was communist, the west could easily identify it as counter to our way of democratic life. The faux-democracy of Putin's Russia, in which any political opponents are killed and/or their good name stolen, not to mention votes, has lured many ordinary people into thinking Russia is not so bad.

Again: It is worse. It is the quintessential oligarchy, with respect for nothing but wealth and the strong-arm tactics they favour to acquire it. 

No, pardon me. I am being to generous in spreading the monstrous behaviour to others. Putin is its fount. Putin and Putin alone. NEVER, EVER forget it.

THIS is the world--the world according to a Russian Runt who was steeped in the age-old viciousness of Russian leaders and trained by a spy organization in which protection of one's own nation was subordinate to destruction of other nations. It is a totally corrupt idea, perfected by a totally corrupt system, and now run by a totally corrupt man.

This is the field in which Boris Johnson plays, led by the nose by
Bannon and Cummings. It is the world in which Trump plays as well; the difference is that Trump is even more witless than Johnson, and the US is big enough and diverse enough to eventually out the bugger. *

But the UK? We are in trouble. We are small. We have no natural resources to speak of. Our constitution is unwritten, leading to massive misinterpretations and wide leeway to fool around with the rule of law. Indeed, the rule of law triumphed in the recent Supreme Court ruling that Boris Johnson had, in three ways, acted illegally in discharging his duties as Prime Minister.

As if it could not wait to prove how corrupt it is, and how inimical to the rule of law and the good of the nation, Johnson's political party, now in tenuous and probably illicit power, began instantly to undermine that rule
of law to replace it with bogus claims of a politicised legal system.

Every word out of the mouth of the PM is a lie; government-sponsored education has been bad for decades, and; the people have been systematically demoralised and robbed of even what little expectation of humane treatment by those leaders they might still entertain. They have been robbed by
despicable acts of treachery like Windrush and Grenfell Towers. They were lured into a criminally run referendum designed to deliver the UK to the hands of the fascists while the toffee-nosed Eton crowd danced off to their offshore accounts and residences.  

After bombardment by vicious toffs and disregard by the government they elected, the population has been rendered incapable of even discerning when they are being led to the ovens, never mind being able to put a stop to it.  They are incapable of understanding that, right now, the government of the United Kingdom is in the hands of evil men and a few women whose complicity renders them WORSE than the Etonian witlings they ape.

It is possible the Conservative Party would have brought us to the killing fields on its own. But I doubt it. They are not smart; they are just greedy. That is the perfect combination for manipulation by a cosmic monster like the Russian Runt.

Putin Butt Plug: I'm sure they are very popular with both the Conservative (UK) and Republican (US) parties.

* In tweets on Oct. 7, 2019, proclaiming his overwhelming intellect and wisdom, Donald Trump threatened to destroy Turkey's economy if it did not destroy the Kurds, a long-time wish of Putin. The Kurds were promised safety by the UK,and then by the US. And they have been sold out--likely most will be killed--to satisfy the wet dreams of the Russian Runt and the money lust of the leaders of the US and the UK.

Copyright 2019, Laura Harrison McBride

Monday, September 30, 2019

Brexit: You cannot legalize the first crime by a subsequent illegal act

UK Supreme Court President, Lady Hale. She didn't come from privilege; the daughter of two teachers worked hard, excelled, and achieved. Something Brexiters can't stand.

It is peculiar that, with all the lawsuits concerning the illegal activities of various organizations involved with the Leave campaign, the issue of the illegality of EVERYTHING the Conservative government has done since then has not been addressed. Not by anyone that I know of.

And yet, from the outset until the current moment, the UK government has proceeded as if it had a legal mandate to leave the European Union. It does not.

Here's why: 

1. The Leave Brexit vote was procured by lies; the Electoral Commission has found that to be the case. The Met Police have refused to further investigate with intent to arrest those responsible. (

 "The Metropolitan police have announced they will take no further action against the Leave.EU campaign for spending offences in the Brexit referendum, despite accepting that it broke the law," The Guardian reported. (

Odd, is it not, that police will not 'investigate' a crime that has already been found to have occurred by one investigatory organization. Could it be because the Metropolitan Police are headed by Cressida Dick, its first female commissioner, who was appointed in 2017, when Leave was under investigation, by the Tory party Home Secretary, Amber Rudd?  How convenient, speaking of foxes and henhouses. (

2. Boris Johnson, Prime Minister, illegally prorogued Parliament (shut it down without reason, to simplify the act) to ensure Leave would occur; the entire 11-judge complement of the UK Supreme Court found he had acted illegally.
Boris Johnson the Jerk, acting true to his nature

3. The referendum that resulted in a very narrow margin for Leave was NOT a binding referendum. Under EU rules, a binding referendum requires a supermajority to carry it, or 66.66 percent, approximately, of those voting. And it also requires a minimum number of registered voters to produce that supermajority. This is to avoid nations making nation-breaking decisions on the basis of the desires of as little as five percent of the nation. Frankly, the Leave vote--especially as it has been stewing for three years while the mostly older Leave voters died off--is barely above five percent of all voters, a very far cry from a supermajority.

So here are my questions:
1. Why has no one sued the government for illegally imposing a mandate to leave the EU when the means of procuring citizen agreement was a crime, AND an illegal attempt was made to ram it into life without the consent of Parliament, which itself is illegal.

2. And, why has the EU even entertained talks about the UK leaving the EU, when the UK's vote did not meet EU standards for a binding referendum? It should have said,  "Try again; do it with a legally binding referendum next time, you witlings."

3. Also, can someone with legal training please look into the failure of the Metropolitan Police to follow through on the illegal conduct of leave.

4. Most importantly, can someone explain why Remain doesn't just go directly to the EU and suggest that, since the UK referendum was not binding, the EU should revoke Article 50 as being null and void and of no effect, as the Supremes called BJ's illegal prorogation. Then we can all go back to square one and start over...if anyone has the stomach for it. 

Dumb and Dumber, aka, Johnson, left, as Cheeto's Mini-Me

Me? I'd just as soon stay in the EU and work really hard, then, at convincing myself the three years of expensive, wearying crap forced on us by greedy Tories and fascist Brexiters never happened. 


Copyright 2019 by Laura Harrison McBride

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Gypsies, tramps and thieves would be an improvement


I have been hoping that there would be no need for my dystopian poetry, the thing I've done for three years now to keep my head from exploding and my heart from imploding because of the monstrosities acting as politicians in the US and UK governments.

Apparently, there is still a need. But I promise, it won't bother me one bit if, between the time I edit the upcoming book, The Karma Carousel, there is, in fact, no need of it. 

Meanwhile, an entry from that upcoming book.  

Lost in the weeds

How can one fight fascism
from afar? How can
one save democracy when
one is an ocean away?

I spend hours every day,
commenting, writing
columns, writing protest

I spend hours looking
for a glimmer that
this nightmare might
be broken by the clear
light of truth, that the
poser who fronts the
demonic is losing his
grip on so much of
humanity. I haven't found
even a tiny point
of light, even a faint one
as if coming from
an unknown galaxy.

The poser has surrounded
himself with material even
denser than he. We are unable to
separate their clinging
molecules sufficiently to
allow a wee, small fragment
of truth to seep through, to
sustain us while we seek
salvation from an inquisition,
a pogrom, an ethnic
cleansing, a maelstrom of
devilish change in the
quality of lives, all lives,
not just those in beleaguered
lands. All lives
are in the balance, and
the scales are held by a
madman. The scales
have not yet fallen from the
eyes of those who hope
it will change. It won't.

The scales dim the eyes
of those who let others
bear the brunt
of action. Of those so timid,
so devoid of empathy for
any but themselves that
they will not dare a word,
an action, a small coin in
aid of toppling the despot.
They are jealous of their
own position, heedless
that nothing can stand
against monolithic evil
except universal resistance.

Nothing. There is no room
for a single person to call
in sick right now. All hands
on deck, and all that. But

I am lost in the weeds,
looking for a glimmer of
solace, a faint light at the
top of a long, long tunnel
filled with the bodies of
our friends maimed in the
poser's war on the poor, our
neighbors dispossessed in
his greed to obtain their
good, ourselves, if we know it
or not,
stressed to breaking by an
evil we can scarcely get our
hands around, never mind our

So I continue, poking my
staff of ire into the weeds,
hoping to ignite them, to
clear a path we can follow
to bring the demon poser
to task sooner
rather than later.

Copyright 2019 by Laura Harrison McBride

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Patriotism: Bogus concept employed by evil people

 Image result for bad patriotismI was never a patriotic American. I believe the US constitution is the greatest political document ever written, and is capable of--if followed perspicaciously--creating an almost perfect nation. But it isn't and it hasn't. Obama tried, but the odds were against, so I left the US, my only regrets being the loss of my beloved home, New York City, and Key West, the only place I have truly ever loved to take a holiday.

Still, it was not, actually, easy for me to renounce my US citizenship, though I found it to be a moral imperative.

I am not a patriotic Brit; I am not a Brit at all. I am an Irish citizen. And I admit to being completely banjaxed that the UK that seemed to be abandoning its tribal hatred of the people it formerly invaded, subjugated, humiliated and starved is now doubling down on its mistreatment, in every way, of the Irish people and the Irish nation. How long I remain in this environment remains to be seen. I lobby against Brexit not for the sake of the British, who have so often proved themselves unworthy of humane consideration (May, BJ,* Rees-Mogg, Davies, IDS and so many other viciously cruel and calculating politicians, you'd think the UK was 100 times its size to produce such masses of evil and incompetence, and voters to support it), but for the decent people everywhere who will be harmed or even killed.

Patriotism is a bogus concept in any case. A nation is made up of people and culture, and both of those change constantly. Patriotism assumes an action of the human heart that is literally impossible to maintain. Why? Because a nation is always a work in progress. To which part, exactly, are you willing to sacrifice yourself? This year it's to whipping Iran; last year it was to whipping ISIS, many years ago it was to whipping the North Vietnamese/Chinese, an impossible task as are they all.

We--the corporate we of the relatively enlightened West--whipped Nazi Germany.

Or did we? If it had been vanquished, how then explain its resurrection in Germany and its exportation to the rest of the EU and the US?

No, patriotism is a fickle lover. And I, for one, will have none of it.

People I will love. Animals I will love. Paintings, music, dance, food, architecture, learning I will love.

I will even love a concept. What I will not do is prostate myself before a concept--and make no mistake, patriotism is a concept and a weak one at that--nor will I beat anyone else up with a concept.

That having been said, Bollocks to Brexit. It is fascism, pure and simple. And fascism depends on mindless natterings of evil people who would have you trade your humanity for their idea of patriotism, which is, if you hadn't noticed, always to their advantage and never to yours.

* BJ is Boris Johnson. If the initials fit... 

Copyright 2019 by Laura Harrison McBride

Leavers: Graphic Explanation of Brexit For Your Reading Pleasure

Related image
Read the 2016 Mirror story...and wonder how you can even contemplate a return to waht they found then...and Brexit guarantees this for many.

Dear Leaver,

Suppose you have a house, a nice house that you bought and improved and made perfectly comfortable for yourself and your family.

You have a job, maybe not your dream job, but a good job that lets you have a nice house. And nice clothes. And good food, and even the option of saying, 'Nuts. I'm tired. Let's go out for dinner," when you want to. You have holidays abroad, basking in the sun and renewing your spirit so you can continue working and earning enough so that your kids will have the education that lets them get their dream job...and you STILL haven't given up on the possibility of getting your dream job. In fact, if you watched just a bit less football, and got your CV out to more employers....

So, really, life is good.

And then one day, you wake up and hear that there is even better stuff ahead--possibly 20 to 50 years ahead--if you will just knock a few holes in your house's siding, maybe rip up the second-bathroom plumbing--the bathroom that lets both you and your spouse get ready for work on time, PLUS getting the kids to school.

And they say you'll have to give up most fresh vegetables, the avocados that your daughter loves and are almost the only vegetable she will eat, and the lean meat your overweight son must have if he isn't to develop diabetes. But hey, it will only be for 20 to 50 years. they say. 

You're 40 now, so you'll only be somewhere between 60 and 90 when the magic happens. You can enjoy a bit of it, maybe. But it's worth it; the rich people say all the money they will make by asking your to scrimp a bit will eventually trickle down to you. It must be worth it; you don't want to be called a traitor, which is what they've called those who have objected to wrecking their lives for the promises of people who are giving up nothing. Sometimes you's your government...Surely they wouldn't harm you. Surely. Though sometimes it is tough to face all this...still...

You need to give up your job, too, they said, to make this ultimate dream existence work. And your spouse must also quit working. But it will be OK. They say you can live just fine on benefits because whatever food there is will be much cheaper. And of course, you can sell your nice house that you worked for and move into a caravan. It's only for 20 to 50 years, after all.

You can save money on clothing, too. First, you don't need clothes for work. And second, there are so many more charity shops on the high street now than ever before, you can take your pick of the rich folks' cast offs. When you think about it, though, you realise that while there will be more charity shops, there will be more people like you, having quit their jobs while looking forward to the payoff after 20 to 50 years, so maybe there won't be enough clothes?

Some people were luckier than you. They didn't have to abandon their jobs and feel like a loser; their jobs left them, and went to a nation that had long-standing agreements over customs and tariffs and all those things you don't quite understand but which, you've heard from those the leaders call traitors, were really important to having a good standard of living.

The Tories said it will be fine, you repeat whenever you doubt. You read something to the contrary once, but only once, because the Tories began issuing gag orders. "It's just to keep us safe from negativity," you tell yourself. And your spouse. And your kids, who really miss chocolate and holidays and their swimming pool membership. Your daughter was on track for the Olympics in diving. But, well, she can just pick it up again in 20 to 50 years.

Your mother got sick last week, but the proper medicine wasn't available, so they gave her a substitute from China--some herbal shit--that didn't cure her and now she'll probably be on oxygen the rest of her days. But at least you are home to take care of her; the government decided providing carers was too negative, and stopped all the programs. Only traitors, they say, complain about lack of health care. REAL patriots just suck it up and take whatever comes, regardless of who it hurts.

If you don't mind, please let us know, in 20 to 50 years, how it has all worked out for you. Any of us still living in the UK then (remember, anyone with Irish grandparents or who is a citizen of NI can get Irish citizenship and leave the UK, and of course Scotland is now an independent nation) would like to know.

Good luck.

Copyright 2019 by Laura Harrison McBride

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Brits: The stiff upper lip is quivering as crocodile tears run down their cheeks


A dozen years ago, before we moved from the US to the UK, we had a lovely flat in Tavistock where we spent many of our holidays. One morning, early, I was awakened by a voice drifting in our bedroom window. Our flat was on the ground floor, on a main street, and our bedroom was in the front. As it was what passes for summer in the UK, we had the window open. A bit.

"But Karen," the voice outside whimpered--over and over and over again--"You don't know how I FEEL."

We laughed quietly, we hoped, at the jerk sniveling at dawn on a public street to a lady who obviously wanted nothing to do with him. Since then, whenever we have seen anyone sniveling in public, one of us will say, "But Karen....."

This morning, reading the tweet below reminded me of the sniveling boyfriend, and it came to me:
The entire LEAVE contingent is nothing more than a substandard collection of sniveling grown-up crybabies who want what they can't have and are torturing the parents--the rest of us--with their persistent and consistent whining and crying. And then telling us, "But Karen...."
It is most unattractive, especially in a population long lauded for having a "stiff upper lip" and being able to handle whatever came at them.

The single thing that finally forced my eyes open to the pitiful self-loathing of the British people--the Leaver portion at any rate--was this Twitter post by, not inconceivably, a Leaver and Labour party British Member of Parliament:

Lisa NandyVerified account @lisanandy May 28
The arrogance of this - sitting in London, judging me and voters in Wigan, making absolutely no effort to understand at all what people think, feel or have experienced, or the work we’re doing here. No humility and not a single lesson learnt from the last three years

Sitting at breakfast, discussing the headlines, I mentioned this to Simon and that's when the lightbulb lit up: AHA!  Brits have become so degraded that they are now--the LEAVERS at any rate--no more than cranky children disappointed that they can't eat their cake and have it, too, and forcing their useless, tiresome and unattractive tantrums upon the adults in the room, the rest of us. Aside from that, Nandy mentions not understanding or learning the lessons of the last three years. 

One thing I understand is that Nandy is half-Indian, her father being Dipak Nandy, an Indian Marxist; LEAVERS are terrified of "brown" people taking over the UK, and yet,she must despise herself, or half of herself and her father, as she is a "brown" person.  

Another thing I understand is that we have learned, those of us with working brains, that the Brexit mess has already cost the UK its world leadership role, thousands of jobs (to be millions if Brexit ever happens), needless deaths in a diminished NHS starved for funding by the Tory Brexiteers, educational excellence, and lots more.

Once it had all sunk in, I tweeted to the whiny Ms. Nandy:
I'm sitting in Cornwall, but I'm a New Yorker, which trumps London for world cities, and am also an Irish citizen. I don't know THAT you think, never mind what you think. Your sense of injury is unattractive, and your bullshit stinks. You serve only your own cockamamie daydreams.
It seems all LEAVERS are whiny little toads, with an over-developed idea of their own humanity and place in the universe. Think about it: Nigel Farage went apeshit nuts when someone splashed him with a milkshake. To hear him tell it, he was milkshake-boarded and about to die. It was either a bit of grandstanding in which Frograge displayed his keen sense of injury, the fact that he pushed his inadequate self on the UK population notwithstanding. Or maybe he really is that scared of milk. 

 We know he's afraid of work; he spends most of his time mewling about how bad the EU is, despite the fact that the only elected position he has ever had is as Member of the European Parliament; even so, he has taken the paycheck for 20 years, and rarely shown up for work. And now he wants to take the UK out of the EU, and destroy the EU to boot, with Bannon's help. Frograge is SO ill-used. 

Frograge laments his horrible life after the Referendum, saying he's "skint" despite a large salary and that he and his kids are targets. Poor little fascist!
By contrast, Ed Milliband (Labour politician) was slimed by a comestible liquid on one of his political outings. He simply slipped off his jacket, handed it to an aide, and quipped that he guessed there might be someone who didn't like him. A reasonable response from a reasonable man. Yet another Labour or LibDem politician (can't recall which, but not a Tory and certainly not a Brexity creep) had an ice cream shoved right into his face. Did he demand "justice" and threaten to prosecute, as Nigel Frograge did? Of course not. He simply wiped his face, and carried on.

It's sad, really, that the tiny nation which once controlled other, bigger nations on every continent on earth can now not even control the whining of its substandard political class. Really, I don't care about that as much as I care about the whiners being sent permanently to the Naughty Chair so the rest of us can go about rebuilding the European UK they are trying so hard to destroy.

 C. 2019, Laura Harrison McBride

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

A milkshake a day keeps the fascists away

A really nice look. And better, he's already wearing a blue ribbon.Well, OK, turquoise. But he still is a blue-ribbon punk of cosmic proportions.

Poor wee Nigel "Milkshake" Farage. In 2017, he was caught in a lie about an assassination attempt.  He promised--as a result of being found out not only of being a wimp but of being a lying wimp--that he wouldn't go nuts over his "security issues" ever again.

Ever, in Nigelspeak, is about two years and, when he was doused with a sweetened milk product this week, he went off on his security detail like a hooker who got stiffed, in the monetary sense, by her john.

Frankly, watching Nigel's discomfiture was good entertainment. And it also revealed a bit more of the clown's character. He has all the common sense of a pet rock.

Think about it; he's a public figure. Public figures regularly run into things they don't like and people who don't like them. The reasonable way to handle this instance would have been to dip his finger into one of the splashes on his jacket, taste the milkshake, and say, "Oh, vanilla. Would you mind using chocolate next time?"

But he couldn't, of course. Fascists lack humour to the same extent as Trump lacks brains. But they are very high on the scale of useless haughtiness (also like Trump). Farage's royal ass had been  insulted; how DARE anyone fuck with Fascist Central Number One? How DARE anyone besmirch the royal suit with a sticky substance? How DARE anyone express displeasure in so HARMLESS a way. 

His perimeter had been breached; someone would have to die. And so, the political tosser is pressing charges against the milkshake tosser. What a loser. Not the milkshake guy, the pitiable mountain of toad-colored, cigar-stinking, beer-bonging flesh that has created the walking turd known as Nigel Farage.

Anyway, here are my thoughts on further "drive by" milkings:

1. A milkshake is not a deadly weapon, like the knives and bullets that have killed liberal politicians, including Jo Cox, for whom Farage couldn't be bothered to stop campaigning for his execrable fascist Brexit for two lousy days while her family and the decent part of the nation mourned.

2. Assuming, however, that the courts in their Toried lack of wisdom penalise throwers of milkshakes onto politicians, there is a way forward. It's simple, really. Don't THROW the milkshake. Instead, wait until you can get close enough to the target, armed with a giant size shake in a flimsy cup. Pretend to slip, and grip the milkshake so hard that it explodes out of the cup onto the target. How can one be penalized for an accident? I mean, Farage's mother was not penalised for the accident of bringing a witling fascist into the world, and that's a lot worse than milkshaking someone.

3. If Nigey's "people" ask local fast food joints not to sell milkshakes when he's coming to town, just hoard a fast food cup or two beforehand and make your own. It will be plenty sticky if you use whole milk and a lot of honey, enough to thicken it a bit but not to prevent it exploding out of the cup under pressure. (You may have to experiment.)  A nice touch might be adding some lovely strawberry flavouring for scent and food colouring for staying power.

The biggest problem might be getting close enough to cause such an accident. Pansy Nige has now taken to cowering in his bus, and pretending that suddenly campaigning for the destruction of the UK has become too dangerous. I'd be happy if he cowered in his bus for the next 50 years; unless he really is one of the undead, we should be rid of him by then and our children and grandchildren won't need to take out Milkshake Spillage Insurance if they ever decide to attend a political event.

C. 2019, Laura Harrison McBride


Thursday, April 11, 2019

Lord of the Flies lives on in the UK's Tories

Every nation, it seems, has a two-tier educational system, with government-supported schools for most children, and expensive privately paid for schools for the children of the wealthy. It seems only rational that parents who could afford to pay for school would send their children where, ostensibly, those children would be better educated than by a government-supported school. 

With the current depredations on government schools by the UK's entitled Conservative (Tory) party members, there's good reason to believe that--as far as actual book-learning goes--the private schools are superior. But for every other part of the preparation of decent, intelligent adults, the UK's private (called public in the UK, but called private hereafter in order not to confuse non-British readers) schools are a disaster from start to finish.

Taking children out of family life and putting them in residential school settings where there is a housemother but no family, and the only humanising that is done is by other equally unformed adolescents, produces tribal behaviour, not humanity. Tribal behaviour results in fights; fights result in deaths; deaths result in misery for the living. In short, by forcing upper-crust kids into an artificial cultural construct, we have guaranteed that we will be governed by juveniles not even remotely equal to the task.

Fiction as fact

In fact, the Tories are a perfect reflection of the private school ethos used as the basis for William Golding's Lord of the Flies. The book concerns the descent into savagery of a group of pre-adolescent boys marooned on a Pacific island with no adults to lead them. They form a tribe, pick leaders, anoint an outcast (whom they eventually kill) and eventually, having secured a food supply and shelter, become both lazy and increasingly vicious.

The Wikipedia article about the book notes, "The semblance of order quickly deteriorates as the majority of the boys turn idle; they give little aid in building shelters, spend their time having fun and begin to develop paranoias about the island." 

Excuse me, but does this sound just a bit like the Tories? They are not taking care of the islanders/Brits, they are failing at housing and food and medical care; indeed, they are selling off the medical care so they can have more money to pay for fun, which is, for them, more unearned income. Indeed, by age 11, the deplorable Jacob Rees-Mogg viewed amassing astonishing wealth as the only fun thing to do in life.

Like the boys on the island, the Tories are happy to be in charge, even though they lack the mental/emotional tools to lead. Mrs. May is a superb and extravagant example, a "fake boy" without even the private school background of tribe-building, and lacking any sort of emotional intelligence one might reasonably expect in a woman; for which see German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

The Tories want to be in charge but mainly of not paying their fair share of taxes so that they can have even more goodies. (Yes, I'm speaking of you, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Phillip May, et al). As for paranoias, they are terrified of the Yaxley-Lennons causing an uproar; it strikes me as about the same thing as the island boys being afraid of a few flies buzzing about the head of a pig they had killed--a fear that's self-inflicted, wildly overblown and easily taken care of by removing the head/depriving Yaxleys of airtime.

Cameron channels Lord of the Flies

To curry favour with his tribe, three years ago Cameron unwisely scheduled a referendum about life on the island asking only the most rudimentary, school-boy questions: Do you want to stay in the EU or leave? Or, do you like your chocolate filled or plain? Same thing.

There was no explanation of what staying in the European Union (EU) or leaving it meant. Indeed, considering the appalling state of British education for the last two decades or so, few people actually understood what the EU is. One has to wonder whether Cameron understood. Certainly, he didn't understand that the EU seemed to be--to Brits he had bashed with the useless, needless austerity plan so his government of Tories could have more--like just another level of miserable bureaucracy making them suffer.

Nor was there a minimum level needed to assess the referendum. If 6 of 10 boys said they liked filled chocolates, did that mean the other 4 would not get any plain ones, ever? Should it not have been at least an 8 out of 10 vote to be meaningful? If you allow the margin of difference to be very small, you are inviting both   manipulation (see BeLeave and its criminal acts) and dissatisfaction among the voters that the vote had been either real or meaningful. No one wants to be bound by a close vote--even though (laughing hysterically) this vote wasn't binding. Cameron created open sores, oozing and smelling like the toilets after an Etonian bachelor party.

In his adolescent immaturity, Cameron had ensured that none of the "boys" would be satisfied with the vote or what it produced. Everyone would feel ill-served, both those who had no clear mandate to behave the way the vote suggested, nor those who suspected it had been rigged against them (they were right.) Cameron ensured infighting for as long as the "boys" were unsupervised on the island. He was, to put it mildly, as weak a leader as either of the co-leaders in Golding's book.

The boys on the island are as close an imitation of the bunch of neo-feral Tory politicians as you could possibly imagine. One must wonder if Golding foresaw the ungodly mess the Tories, under the leadership of the perennially boyish David Cameron of the Etonian tribe, have made of their country. It is in flames, figuratively speaking, and it doesn't appear there are any adults in naval vessels coming along to sort it out.

The EU has tried to guide the UK to some semblance of maturity without actually supervising, which is not, despite Leaver belief, any part of the EU mandate. The EU has now given the boys/Tories one last chance to either create island governance that works without killing people, or to leave the islanders to their own devices, unprotected in a hostile world. In short, they can either scrap the referendum's results and beg pardon to consort with the adults--the EU--again, or they can perish by their own pre-adolescent wits on a cold island with nothing left to recommend it.  

Lord of the Flies ends as the boys have set their island aflame. A passing military boat sees the flames and mounts a rescue, whereupon the boys who are still alive revert, in the presence of actual adults, to the pre-adolescent behaviour they had left behind when trying to be fake adults. On the island, they were just like the Tories led by Mrs. May, and in way, way, way over their little heads. Given a decent leader--the rescuer--they reverted to the behaviour of their actual ages, crying and all.

Make no mistake; that is exactly what it has come down to. We must elect a government/force the current government to behave decently toward us and our neighbors and remain a part of the adult group, the EU, or we will perish as a united kingdom; we will devolve into a handful of very small, very unimportant, very lonely and very poor nations. 

This is not fiction, but reality. There is no author waiting to relieve us of our misery with a handful of pacifying words.  THERE IS NO CONVENIENT NAVAL SHIP SAILING BY TO SAVE US.

Our MPs will have to grow up fast or all is lost...and we will be left stranded on an island in the middle of a vast ocean from which storms are more likely to arise than days of calm and bliss, in which food will be difficult to obtain and prepare, in which there will be no new clothing once the clothes worn when we were marooned fall off of us in tatters.
Drawing of Lord of the Flies island: UK, 2020?

Copyright 2019, Laura Harrison McBride

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