Just now, a deep-pockets Republican defector sneaked me this letter he had purloined from the desk of HO-Tus, Melania Knauss Trump. I'm not sure if it's genuine, although I suspect from the miasma of $1000-an-ounce perfume wafting off it, it might be.
Anyway, for what it's worth, it offers a little insight into the life of the matriarch of America's Worst Family: Iskanka, Sca-red, Junior, Ricky and that other kid, the one you never see. Oh, and the other one that you never see, the one named after a New York jewelry store. Anyway, the five exemplars of degraded Trump DNA.
Copyright 2017, Laura Harrison McBride